Journal Four-Britt

In the chapter The Monkey Garden I feel the theme is unsatisfactory as well as her death. In this chapter Esperanza talks about the monkey garden being the place she wants to die. She says people say the garden can hide things for a thousand years, she tried one day but the harden wouldn’t take her. Where I get the unsatisfactory theme from is when Esperanza can’t stop Sally from being with the boys so she doesn’t get in trouble. Esperanza felt unaccomplished and hurt when the boys and Sally only laughed when she was trying to help out in the long run. That leading to the best piece of writing in this chapter to me. “I wanted to will my blood to stop, my heart to quit its pumping. I wanted to be dead, to turn into the rain, my eyes melt into the ground like two black snails. I wished and wished. I closed my eyes and willed it, but when I got up my dress was green and I had a headache.”

Other than my mother, my biggest role model is my older brother James. He never pushes me away when I need someone or even if I just neede advice. It’s not just the fact that he's there for me it’s that no matter what he’s always 100% honest with me. It does not matter if it’ll hurt my feelings or not and sometimes that’s what I need, I need that full honesty. Him being older than me obviously shows me the things to do and not to do from his experiences although I’m still going to have my own mistakes. When I was 10 and he was 14 we lost our father and that made our bond so much stronger considering we realized at a young age that your loved ones could be gone the next day. Being as close as we are of course he’s going to be one of my role models. There’s nothing more that I want than to be happy with my life where ever it takes me and to never forget what got me there. That’s one of the things I will never forget because I’ve learned it from him.